Confusion

Well, if nothing else, these last 4 months as being as a mom has taught me that mommyhood is nothing short of confusing at times. I know all of you mommies know this, but at times all you can do is guess, and I don't know about you but to me, that is so FrUsTrAtInG!

Today was a fine example of this. Connor woke up around the usual time of about 8:00. (He's been sleeping around 12 hrs. a night, so that's nice) Took his morning nap from 9-11ish, and then I woke him up to eat. Now usually, when I say this, a few people look at me and tell me not to wake him up but honestly I believe that is the secret to why he sleeps so good at night. I am sure to monitor his afternoon naps, to make sure they don't exceed 2 hours, and so far that has worked for us. After I woke him up I nursed him, and after he was done he went in his swing for a bit while I got some housework done..some time went by, he laid down for a nap, and woke up about a half-hour before he was supposed to eat. (which is unusual) He started crying uncontrollably like he was hungry so I proceeded to feed him. When I thought he was done, I started to pull him away and he DEFINITELY was NOT interested in being done, so I just let him continue even though I knew he was not getting anything. After about 10 minutes of that..I finally pulled him off and just let him be fussy. Now, this sounds like he's not getting enough food and that is about enough to devastate me, but I didn't let it worry me, because this has happened before and then he ended up being just fine by the end of the night. So, about an hour passed and the fussiness increased so I got some frozen breast milk out and offered him about 2oz. He downed it, and when I tried to pull that away, you would think I just pulled the dearest thing away from him! ---he was MAD--- At this point, I was about to the end of myself, because I was thinking what I possibly could have missed or what on earth he could be crying about. While I was trying to calm him down, he spit up quite a bit, so I made the justification in my mind that he couldn't possibly be starving, but who knows??? I put him back in his crib, because I thought he could possibly be just way over-stimulated from everything, but he kept falling asleep and then waking up, falling asleep and then waking up about every 2 minutes or so. I went to another room where his crying wasn't so pronounced and just sat and tried to rack my brain about what could be wrong!--this just isn't normal behavior for my child!- 30 minutes or so after I put him down, I got him back up and gave him some gas drops..I had no idea. But I knew that couldn't hurt anything. He fell asleep a little after that- and slept for about an hour and fifteen minutes before he woke up crying again. It was time to feed again, so I did and that time seemed to be a little easier when he stopped, but he still was fussy.

So, now he is in a swing..-kinda fussing, kinda not. And I'm sitting here just trying to not over-attack myself for feeling like a bad mom. He is definitely being fed enough, his diaper is changed, and I'm just not quite sure what else to do for him. There are countless things that could be going on- I understand that- but it is definitely not fun being on the mom side of this. All you want as a mom is to do the right thing, and be the best that you can be for your kids. I can honestly say, that I have done this; I guess now is just one of those times that is totally out of my control. He'll be fine-I'll be fine, I know this. But in the meantime, I'm trying not to let this confusion of not knowing what to do, frustrate me further.

Now-I'm going to try and just cuddle my little guy and love on him, and we'll see what happens. After all, what have I got to do tonight?? Definitely nothing as important as making my little one feel better...

Thankfulness

I cannot believe it is November already! This year has absolutely flown by and I'm struggling to remember all that has happened..
I think we all know that thankfulness is the theme for this month. That is not to say that we shouldn't live every day being thankful for what we have, but November 25th is certainly a fine reminder.
I am spoiled, you are spoiled, and we live in a very spoiled America. You and I are blessed with so many things that are everyday occurrences that we so often take for granted. Just think-
How many of us really have ever had to go without food on our tables? How many of us have ever had to deny our child Christmas gifts? How about go without coats? or shoes? How about something as needful as glasses? The list could definitely go on and on, but I think you get the point. O I know all about the recession, and cutting back, but REALLY..we, as a whole in America have all of the necessities of living and so much more than we deserve. So here we go, here's my thankful list :
1. I am thankful for God's grace and giving his Son to die on the cross so anyone who calls on His name is promised Everlasting life and a home in Heaven.
2. I am thankful for my husband- you are God's gift to me (no matter how cliche' that sounds), I wouldn't want to face this life without you. I love our family.
3. I am thankful for my son, Connor- You are my first-born and I love you with all of my heart. I know that I will not be a perfect mom, but I promise to love you and always have your best interests at heart.
4. I am thankful for my parents- I would not be the woman I am today without your love and awesome parenting. I'm so glad I have great guides to look to as I try this crazy ride of parenting!
5. I am thankful for my mom-in-law, Ann. Thank you for raising a great boy that has turned into a fantastic husband and dad. I hope you know how much we love and appreciate you!
6. I am thankful for all of my family- All of ya'll ;)- my sista, my three brothers, my in-laws- Deena, Melody, Bret, Tom and Taylor, and David and Nikki. And of course, all of my little nieces, and nephews. Being the youngest gives me lots of room for advice, because of all of you that have already been there, done that. Love the advice. Keep it coming!
7. I am thankful for a great church and church family- It's so hard to find a good church- I'm thankful I have one!
8. I am thankful for my home, for food, for clothes.
9. I am thankful for health, for a working brain.
10. I am thankful for my country, which I love very much. I am thankful for the values our forefathers established, which has made our country the way it is. The Lord has been so merciful to our country, but we must return to what made our country great, or we will lose it. "...Righteousness exalteth a nation.."
11. I am thankful for my freedoms. No matter what you believe or what your style of living is; be thankful for your freedom to do so, because with a lot of people in this world, that just isn't the case.
12. I am thankful for the little things- an awesome cup of coffee, a delightful chocolate bar, and Q-tips. :)
Well, there you have it folks! There's my list. I hope you will make up a list and make it a very important part of your home. It's so important that our children learn to be thankful for what they have and realize how blessed they are to live the way they do. It's so cute to see what kids are thinking and what their little hearts are thankful for. ;)
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

"Thumb-Sucker"

Well, despite all of our efforts to hide it, Connor has definitely found his thumb. Now, to me it's really not that big of a deal. In fact, I think it's quite cute; but, Chris really did not want his son to suck his thumb! But, what can you do?? It's kinda hard to keep away something that is attached.

We've been giving Connor a paci since the day he was born, and grant it, he still LIKES his paci, but he LOVES his thumb. It's quite entertaining watching him trying to get his thumb into his mouth, but, boy once it's in there good luck trying to break that suction! Sometimes it looks like he's struggling with his thumb because I think he wants it to be bigger ;). But, despite the occasional fussiness because he can't get it to fit perfectly in his mouth, he's a fighter, and he's determined to make it a perfect fit. I have no idea if this habit will stick, but if it does - O well...we'll fight that battle when we come to it.. but, right now, it's just downright cute.

My not So Bloggable Life

Well---this is hilarious..I have absolutely NOTHING to blog about, but I'm afraid if I don't write something that I will get out of the habit...I'm sitting here racking my brain and asking my husband to give me ideas for a blog, but yes, folks, it is really that bad. Not really, but sometimes I find my days just all meshing together until a week has gone by and I haven't even blinked.

SO, I will simply just chat for a moment and hopefully not bore you all with my chatter. Last night, Chris called me on the way home from work and asked me to call one of our friends to ask them if they would watch the baby so we could get out for a little while by ourselves. I don't even think he realizes how fun this was for me. We went and got dinner and Steak n' Shake where one of our good friends is a waitress, then walked around Pier 1 Imports, one of my absolute fav's, then picked up a movie, and then took the long way home so we could talk about anything and everything and more importantly, just to be with each other. It was soo nice! While walking in Pier 1 the lady kept asking us if we needed help, and about the 4th time of asking, I finally just told her with a smile-"We're just enjoying being out together." We stayed in there until closing and enjoyed every bit of it. (By the way, my hubby bought me an awesome tree looking thing (hard to explain) for our fireplace.) =) It's lovely..

Anyway, we got back to our quiet little home, sat down with a cup of joe, and enjoyed our movie together. I know nights won't always be as peaceful as that one, so I tried to not take one minute for granted! Tomorrow we are headed to Dollywood and Gatlinburg to enjoy some more Fall Fun!

You see, my life really isn't THAT bloggable, but it's the simple things in life, right??

"Losing it With Jillian"

Okay, so maybe I stole the title from one of her TV shows, but that title is exactly what has been going on in this household the past week. Although I LOVE being a mommy and adore my sweet baby boy; there was much more added to our lives than just a baby...yep, you guessed it- weight.

Although I tried to keep myself under control when I was pregnant with Connor, and tried to eat healthfully, but nevertheless, pregnancy hunger and cravings are rough and honestly, sometimes I just caved in..which I don't necessarily regret, but it just means that now I have to work extra hard. I'm not sure how this worked out, but Christopher has also gained some weight since the pregnancy. Of course, he's a guy and he is far from being obese, our goal has become more than just losing weight but rather to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Now, to make this even more difficult, I had a c-section, so I really am just now feeling completely back to normal. During my last month of pregnancy (partly because of a lot of water retention), I hit a number on the scale that I really don't want to ever see again..

SO- it was time for a change- I always worked out when I was in high school and I really liked doing it, but when we got married, I just got out of the habit. Chris was a runner and a swimmer, but of course, also got out of that habit when we were married. We started a week ago doing a workout called the 30 day Shred. It is only 20 minutes long, but it is a consistent workout that combines cardio, strength, and Abs. It is very HARD work, but it is kind of fun having a workout routine every day. We charted weight and measurements the day we started and are going to do it again November 12th. (30 days from when we started) I'm excited to see the results.

Again, my goal is not to be something that is not me. I am a mommy, and I know my body will never be the same as before I was, nor do I want it to be. My goal is simply to get in shape, increase my energy, and remain healthy. If I can do it, anyone can!

Grandpa

Today I received a call from my mom, telling me that they took my grandpa to the ER because of something having to do with what they think to be his heart. He will be admitted shortly so they can monitor and see what the problem definitely is. You can imagine the helpless feeling I have being so far away, and I thought I'd share a little about my grandpa so you all can maybe feel a little closer to my grandpa whom you may or may not ever have met.

What comes to my mind when I think of Grandpa is a young-at-heart, barbershop-singing, family-loving, gentleman who loves to make people laugh. He loves my grandma so, and anyone who knows my Grandpa and Grandma knows that they are truly a "match made in Heaven." You don't get much of a sweeter couple than those two. Not once growing up do I remember there ever being hardship between the two. They are always lovin' and huggin' on each other, and when you are near them, you can't help but have a good time. You'll hear things like, "Hunny-Pot", and "Charlene"( this is a little bit of an inside joke with the family), and many other endearments.

My Grandpa is a retired Southern-Baptist preacher and sang in Barbershop quartets as a hobby. Still to this day, every time the family gets together he gathers all the guys around to sing a barbershop tag or two. (and sometimes, if the guys are not getting their parts, he'll pull in us girls to help too.) =)

The magic of my Grandpa has always been that he or my Grandma never seem to get older! Up until just recently, they have taken care of their garden(which my Grandma still continues to do), which is one of the most beautiful flower gardens I've ever seen, they'll just decide out of the blue to go on a fun little drive somewhere they've never been and discover a little city that no one knows about, and they exercise and just keep moving. They help every year at the polls as election judges, and so on. Their life has never been at a stand-still. My Grandpa means so much to my family and he has had such a unforgettable part in making my parents and now his grandchildren's homes what they are today.

He is so special to me in so many ways, and being the youngest of his grandchildren, I have had so many opportunities with him that I will never forget. I used to go to their house in the summer growing up, and they would always take me to places that most of you have never heard of, but to me are some of my greatest memories. I loved to hear my Grandpa preach. He has such a heart for people and has taught me so much about living the Christian life and living it to its fullest...

Surprisingly to all of us, recently time has started to catch up to Grandpa. He has been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, and it has affected his lungs, and is very painful to him. He has been put on a breathing machine pretty much full-time, but sometimes he "forgets" about it when he's at home. ;) Right now, he is doing well at the hospital, in stable condition, but we're just waiting to hear the news. They think maybe pneumonia could have set in, or maybe his medicine isn't working right, but whatever it is, they're doing the best to take care of Him.

Life is wonderful, family is wonderful, and I'm so thankful for all the people that God has placed in my life to make it SO wonderful. I guess I always knew when I was younger, that the day would come when my Grandparents would get older and things would change, but that time has come all too fast.. It's so hard to see life change, and the ones we love suffer, but I'm so thankful that my Grandpa has a better place than this world to look forward to, and someday we'll all be together again.

The situation today has made me think of him, and I felt like since I'm so far away, the only thing I could do to not go crazy was to write about him. I wanted to share a bit of my Grandpa's legacy with you all, because he deserves all the honor in the world. He's the best Grandpa in the world..

He's my Grandpa. He's my hero.

A Final Attempt

Well, yes it's me again!! I am back after a hiatus from blogging. Attempt # - well who knows how many attempts I've made at this blogging thing. If it doesn't happen this time people, it probably just won't happen. But, I so enjoy reading other's blogs that I am determined to get back into it.

Since I have blogged last, a new person has been added into the Stivers Clan! A fiery, lovable little man who claims the name Connor Judson. July 10, 2010 was the infamous date of our little guy's arrival. He was 2 weeks early but very ready to come. He arrived at 4:35, Saturday afternoon, weighing in at 6 lbs. 12 oz and measuring 21 inches long!! I have discussed with other moms since then the surreal feeling of that moment, when you welcome your very own, unique, and most precious baby into the world. There is nothing like it.... Since then our 3 month old has grown to be over 14 pounds and is now cooing, holding his head up, and exercising his little legs and arms as fast as they'll go. Where have the last three months gone? I ask this because I know this is how the rest of our lives will be.. trying to catch up to yesterday. My sister-in-law said to me.."If you want your life to be put on fast forward just have children." And that is so true.

Please allow me to brag on my husband also for a moment- Chris is now supervisor at the Verizon- Cellular Sales Call Center, and is loving it. His bosses are extremely pleased with his work and how every department that he is placed in, grows. For those of you who don't know Chris, let me tell ya, you're missing out.. He is the funny, intelligent, caring, Mr. Fix it husband of mine, and I couldn't ask for more. He's got the whole "dad" thing down to a tea also. There's so much of the unknown that comes with having your first child, but we're learning it together and loving every minute of it. Through all of his and my stubbornness and differences, it is beyond evident that we were created for each other, and the Lord knew exactly what he and I needed to be better people. I am so thankful and blessed to have him.

I have many pictures, and other items to show, but as all of our files are on an external hard drive right now , that's a bit difficult. They will be posted soon though!